I recently had a session with family and friends of nine people. I have always loved the family dynamic, quite literally something I have always been conscious of as an honored privilege to be a part of. The precious moments of “connections” that only viewing a family, some living and many who are now in the spirit, can appreciate.
I say this because after a very “intense” session, of whom the guest of honor was this young man who had died at age 27 connected the entire family. Needless to say he showed up in full bloom sharing his love and some wisdom with his beloved family and extended friends.
As I look around this group of people; grandmother, mother, father, sisters, brothers and friends; I was so aware; as I always am; that looking at all of them, no one would have ever known what pain they were all feeling for the lost of Steven.
At the end of the most beautiful connection of all in regards to this bittersweet loss everyone was feeling, one of Steven’s Aunt’s came up to me. She shared with me that if you were to look at her sister Judith, Stevens mother, your thoughts would be something like she has this most perfect life. A beautiful house, a wonderful family that travels the world together and yet, her only son is dead at 27 years of age. Her sister proceeded to say that they all look at her sister and just see all the “things” she has with her husband and children but don’t know that she lost her only son to a drunk driver.
I just recently went to my class reunion, quite honestly something that I would never ordinarily do. I had had really no connection to any class members over the years except for a couple that keep in touch with my mother.
So I went, and in conversation with someone that I did have an affinity with, because we both share a love of music. She said to me: “ How has the journey been for you. I look around and see it looks like everyone is having a good time but, how much tragedy has been in their lives. I couldn’t help but think of my nine member family. The sister said the same thing to me, who would ever know by looking at her sister, she had lost her only son.
In this awareness of we “do” all the time judge the cover without, knowing what’s inside. We assume someone who “looks” like they have the perfect life, inside there’s a deep hole from a loss that no words could possibly console or comprehend.
It’s so easy for all of us to judge a moment, putting together a scenio of the “perfect” whatever. However, there is no perfect whatever, just life with all its joys and sorrows. Managing our best to deal with and heal from adversities.
It was a class reunion that I am quite happy that I attended. For me there was much reflecting. How life had changed for the few classmates that I did remember. I looked at many of them and knew that I couldn’t know their paths nor would they know mine because ultimately each of us has our own book and journey. It is however always a privilege for me in that moment, to be a part of it.
