Happy, merry month of May! Most of you know that May is my favorite month of the year. Not only because it’s my birthday, but you can really feel that spring has arrived. I equally believe that whoever decided May was the perfect month for “Mother’s Day” had spring and birth in mind. It’s also for many the beginning of summer since Memorial Day ends the month with a bang!
It doesn’t matter what your relationship with your mother is, good, difficult, challenging, wonderful, and or really, really not good, it will be with you for the rest of your life. If you have any therapist, counselors, or psychologist of any genre, they will tell you that mom will affect you one way or another all of your life. Mothers are likely to be your most important relationship in your life, or at the very least affect all your relationships in one way or another. (I’ll talk about dads next month).
I could go on and on but a mother’s loss is probably close to the most significant connection and grief experiences in my work. As they say, there are many stories in The Naked City, the one below is just one of them that I had the privilege of sharing:
I have always loved the inter-dynamics of family but since we’re talking about mothers, I recently got to experience a wonderful session with three sisters. Their mom showed up to the session immediately, and I have to say what a fine, thoughtful, and tuned-in mom she was! This family consisted of three sisters and one brother. They spent their summers at a beach house that their mother’s grandparents had and passed on to her for her children. The memories, needless to say, were heartfelt for all of them. Their dad died early in life, leaving their mom to take care of all 4 of them. She worked two jobs and invested what money their dad left them so she could pass down the beach house to her children. She was determined to never sell the beach house.
Their mother was not only smart but knew her children very well. One day mom got sick and they all bonded together (the sisters) and took care of her. They shared all that needed to be done between the three of them in devotion to their mom. Their mom, after a long battle of cancer, finally crossed over. She had been very clear about her will, and that her daughters were not going to have to deal with conflict and loss of that beautiful beach house. She purposely cut her son out of the will – he was a gambler and drinker and she had given plenty of money over the years to help him out. She drew the line in her will – he wasn’t going to take the beach house from her daughters.
Each daughter lived in fear they might lose the beach house but knew it was their mom’s decision. I don’t have to say anymore except, that I’m sure you’ve all heard the horror stories where if the brother had been part of that estate, the loving beach house would have been sold and no longer a home the grandchildren could share and experience.
There would have been many mothers with an only son who would have never done that, but she knew this would have been a big loss to her daughters. I’m sure all of you have gone through some very painful and difficult loss, but she prevented the loss of the beach house that would have affected the rest of her children and grandchildren.
I love sharing some wonderful stories with all of you, and what the wonders of a special mom are. Enjoy all the mothers, including those who are not blood mothers but leave that mark of love in your life.
I look forward to connecting with all of you.
A reminder: I am doing some in-person sessions in NYC and different areas of the northeast so stay tuned for those dates! I’m also hosting a special Mother’s Day online gallery with Thomas John on May 15th – get tickets now here!
Warmly with love,
Suzane
