Happy, merry month of May! Most of you know that May is my favorite month of the year. Not only because it’s my birthday, but you can really feel that spring has arrived. I equally believe whoever decided May was the perfect month for “Mother’s Day” had spring and birth in mind. It’s also, for many, the beginning of summer, since Memorial Day ends the month with a bang!
It doesn’t matter what your relationship with your mother is: good, difficult, challenging, wonderful, or really, really not good; she will be with you the rest of your life. If you have any therapists, counselors, psychologists of any genre, they will tell you that your mom will affect you one way or another, all your life. Mothers are likely to be close to the most important relationship in your life, or at the very least, affect all your relationships in one way or another. (I’ll talk about dads next month).
I could go on and on, but a mother’s loss is probably close to the most significant connection and grief experience in my work. As they say, there are many stories in the naked city; the one below is just one of them I had the privilege of sharing.
I have always loved the interdynamics of family, but since we’re talking about mothers, I recently got to experience a wonderful session with three sisters. Their mom showed up to the session immediately, and I have to say what a fine, thoughtful, and tuned-in mom she was. There were, as I said, three sisters and one brother. They spent their summers at a beach house that her grandparents had and passed to her for her children. The memories, needless to say were heartfelt for all of them. Their dad died, leaving their mom to take care of all 4 of them. She worked two jobs and invested her money well from what their dad left them, so she could pass down the beach house to her children. She was determined to never sell the beach house.
Her mother was not only smart but also knew her children very well. Mom got sick, and they all bonded together (the sisters) and took care of her. They shared all that needed to be done between the three of them in devotion to their mom. Their mom, after a long battle with cancer, finally crossed over. She had been very clear about her will, and that her daughters were not going to have to deal with conflict and loss of that beautiful beach house. She purposely cut her son out of the will; he was a gambler and drinker, and she had given plenty of money over the years to help him out. She drew the line in her will; he wasn’t going to take the beach house from her daughters. Each daughter lived in fear that they might lose the beach house, but knew it was their mom’s decision. I don’t have to say any more except that I’m sure you’ve all heard the horror stories where if the brother had been part of that estate, and the loving beach house would have been sold, no longer the grandchildren to share and experience.
There would have been many mothers with an only son who would have never done that. She knew that would have been a big loss to her daughters. I’m sure all of you have gone through some very painful and difficult losses, but she prevented the loss of the beach house that would have affected the rest of her children and grandchildren.
I love sharing some wonderful stories with all of you, and the wonders of a special mom are. Enjoy all the mothers, who are not blood mothers but leave that mark of love in your life. Go celebrate the merry month of May.
I look forward to connecting with all of you. A reminder: I am doing some in-person sessions in NYC and different areas of the northeast, including Mother’s Day readings at Cyprian Keyes in Massachusetts on May 7th!
Warmly with love,
Suzane
